Friday, May 09, 2008

More stubborn (and perhaps smarter) than we thought he was

Dear [Back Seat Boy],
The jig is up. I know your secret. If you didn't want me to find out than you shouldn't have put on that little show at your Dr's appt. Maybe you wanted to make a fool out of mama? I tell the Dr "he still can't walk", the Dr takes you across the room, and you immediately start whimpering and walk across the room to me.

Here's something you should know about secrets. Once you let the world know, you can't make them un-know it. For instance, on Wednesday I saw you walk, without the aid of someone's hand, farther than any of the faltering, falling down steps you've taken at home. Now I know you can walk. The Dr. saw you walk and told me you can walk. I have a witness. This means that you can't pretend you don't know how when we're home. You can't crumple to the ground and crawl to me when I leave you standing somewhere and say "Walk to mommy!". You can't cry and reach for my hand when I tell you to walk the few steps between the rocking chair and your bookshelf to pick out books. You can't stand up, by yourself, in the middle of a room to throw a ball, then look right at me with that shitty grin on your face, slowly crouch down to a crawling position, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time, and crawl to get your ball.

I will admit that a few weeks ago I was heard saying that I really didn't need you to walk, because I love the way you crawl around, and I thought I was going to miss it. I figured this was the last 'baby' thing you do, and once you started walking you would stop being a baby and start being a toddler. I will probably miss the way you 'dance' while crawling, and the sight and sound of you crawling while holding something, but I have video and pictures, and quite honestly--YOU ARE 18 MONTHS OLD!! YOU WEIGH 26 POUNDS! I love you, but this is starting to wear a little thin.

In conclusion: I know you can walk, you know you can walk, and, according to the Dr, you need a little "motivation". Well, I can tell you that we will start walking across the bridge at the playground. I will hold your hand, but there will be no more crawling over all of the playground equipment. Second, I will no longer rush to you to clean off your hands when you hold them up to me, whining, because we are outside and you got tree buds or other miscellaneous pieces of nature on them crawling around the yard. If you really need to be held by someone you really don't like to find the motivation to walk, then I will find a total stranger to come over every day and hold you across the room from me until you figure out that walking is a much more efficient way to get around than crawling. Please, Back Seat Boy, please. I really think you'll have so much more fun this summer if you just get those chubby little legs underneath you and start walking around.


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